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We're Kick-Punch-Block, otherwise known as KPB!

Helping to expand the Fighting Game community locally in the heart of NYC, nationally, and eventually worldwide.

KPB Character Battle: Ralf Jones VS Mike Haggar

Hello again, one & all... how about them Guardians? Anyways, it's the first week of the month & everyone know what that means (besides the bills being due): It's time for another Character Battle! After the jump, find out who's throwing down...

I have to be honest with you, folks... I can't believe it's already August. This year has been flying, but I can't complain because it's been an interesting year so far. Enough about me, though. We're here to get our battle on. So, in my attempts to both entertain & challenge you, I've come up with a Battle that's sure to delight even the most hardened FGC veterans. Today, we're gonna have a showdown of ultimate brawn between two monoliths of manliness!

The best part about this particular battle is that it already has its own theme song...

The best part about this particular battle is that it already has its own theme song...

Hold on to something sturdy, folks, because this one might get crazy. That's right, it's an arm wrestling contest between KOF's one-man-army Ralf Jones going up against none other the Mayor himself, Mike Haggar! No matter how you slice it, that is a shitload of muscle to have in any one place at any given time. Not just saying that to sound extreme, either... between the two of them, that's over 500 lbs (with Haggar having an over 50 lb weight advantage) of sheer brute force charging at you. Anyone who wants to make that old "take away its credit card" joke might want to reconsider. Also, standing at 6'7", Haggar has a 5 inch height advantage. However, height & weight are not definitive characteristics of strength. Let's take a closer look at our fighters.

For about twenty years now, Ralf & his squad have been kicking ass across the globe in the King of Fighters tournament. One way or another, these soldiers are usually either on the front lines or checking behind the scenes of whatever might be going down. Diabolical warlord trying to offset the global balance of power? Ikari was there. Ancient clan attempting to ressurect an even more ancient snake demon? Ikari was there. Shadow cartel hellbent on world domination? Damn skippy, Ikari was there. (Ikari ain't got no time for that.) Time distorting cult looking to siphon unfathomable power from aforementioned ancient snake demon? You bet your sweet ass that Ikari was there! And in every case, the Galactica Phantom was on the scene, putting his boots to the asses of all shapes & sizes. By his own admission (and pretty much the admission of anyone who has ever fought him), Ralf is a tough bastard.

When it comes to finding success in life in what you do, there are very few examples that are as shining as Mike Haggar. When you stop and think about it, he's one of the most successful FG characters in history. Before being elected to office in Metro City, Haggar was actually a professional wrestler in the CWA. He even trained a few wrestlers, too. After his time in the ring had run its course, he turned his attention homeward and worked to clean up the streets. Once it became obvious that no amount of political acumen was going to get the job done, Haggar (quite literally) took matters into his own hands after learning his daughter Jessica had been kidnapped. The series of beatings that followed have since become legend. Whether he's pushing paper or breaking bones, Mike Haggar is a badass worthy of literature.

So now that we know the challengers, let's get down to the challenge. An arm wrestling match between Ralf & Mike would be epic, that's not in question, but who would win boils down to strength. In order to determine that, we have to appreciate just how hypothetical this contest would be. More to the point, we have to take into account the feats of strength these two have performed. By that, I mean the amount of force they've used to fight. On that merit, the question of who's stronger is easy. The heaviest opponent that Ralf has ever faced is Chang Koehan at 675 lbs. On the other hand, Haggar has recently been tossing around the likes of the Incredible Hulk, Nemesis, a friggin' Sentinel & a handful of others as if they were bags of groceries. In terms of strength, this one's really no contest.

WINNER: MIKE HAGGAR

Until next time... keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

(On a slightly unrelated note, we're looking forward to seeing a lot of you at KPB's next local tournament: Saturday Night Spam Masters. All the necessary information you might need about the event can be found by following that link. Looking forward to having some of our FGC brothers & sisters come out and enjoy some battles with us.)

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