Aphro’s Asskicking Anthems – February 2015

What it is, what it is, what it is... shed no tears! The one & only Aphro Dynamek has returned to bring the noise. Now it doesn't take a genius to realize that it's been a heavy month for winter, so we're gonna stick with that theme. After the jump, let's get it going...

The song you're currently bobbing your head to is "Heart of the Machine" from the OC Remix album Audio Engineering: A Tribute to Cid. (Folks, I could spend all month talking about OverClocked Remix, but their collective body of work speaks for itself. Seriously, if you haven't checked them out yet, I might need to reconsider our status as "friends".) Anyways, the album is a collection of remixes dedicated to all the Cids that grace the Final Fantasy series. In particular, this track highlights FF5's renowned inventor & professor, Cid Previa.

So now, as it always does, the task falls to me to assign the musical selection to a character in the pantheon of fighting games. However, unlike my other choices in the past, the theme & tone of this song slightly narrows my options. If I were to just slap this song onto anybody, I'd be doing you all a disservice and that is simply not my modus operandum. Since I'm doing this for entertainment of all my FGC brothers & sisters, I intend to do it right & I think I have the perfect choice.


Wait a minute, does Tager go to the same hair stylist as Seth Rollins?

That's right, I went with the Red Devil of Sector 7 himself... Kokonoe's favorite boytoy, Iron Tager! I have a confession to make before we go any further, though: Originally, I had wanted to use a considerably different song for Tager partially because of its title in relation to his own, but primarily because the idea of him trying to dance to it made me laugh (much harder than it ever should have). However, that would have been mean-spirited and I'm not here to make fun of anybody. Anyways, "Heart of the Machine" fits Tager like a glove due to the fact that his personality juxtaposes his appearance. At first glance, one could assume he's a vicious, mechanical golem. However, despite all that, he's actually one of the more levelheaded characters in the BlazBlue series. Proof, beyond the shadow of any doubt, that no book can truly be judged by its cover.

Until next time... keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

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