The Malloy List – August 2015

Okay, okay... I know I missed a week, but that doesn't mean I plan to slack off or anything. It's a little later than usual, but this month's addition to the Malloy List is definitely worthwhile. Be careful, though... you DO NOT want to find yourself on this person's bad side. It ain't pretty, trust me...

Before we get started, I have to vent a little: I cannot believe that the one week I decide to take off (for personal reasons), it feels as though EVERYTHING decided to happen during my hiatus! *sigh* Sad part is that all the stuff I just linked in the previous sentence doesn't cover the full extent of last week's events. Murphy's Law in full effect, I guess. Alright, now that that's out of my system... let's get back to business.

This month's induction onto the List is easily one of the most colorful characters I've ever shined the spotlight on. However, it's that very unpredictability that drew me to the character in the first place. They aren't exactly what we traditionally think of when it comes to a "fighter", but this one has a surprising history of combat experience. Furthermore, they have the element of surprise on their side considering their choice of profession. No matter how I try to build this one up, it's still going to be a curveball.

Don't worry about how things got to this point, just focus on surviving.

Don't worry about how things got to this point, just focus on surviving.

Pamela Poovey, the HR director/field agent from the show, Archer. Although she initially does not look like much, Pam is a veritable force of nature when she wants/needs to be. As a girl who grew up working on the family farm, she is no stranger to hard work. Besides being a (frankly inept) Human Resources director, she's also an accomplished street racer & owner of a fighting fish named Germaine. Above all this, however, Pam is a ferocious combatant. During the course of the show, she's seen to have killed two people in hand-to-hand combat, the latter of which made the mistake of pointing a gun at her and not pulling the trigger. It's also hinted that she's killed at least a dozen others. Furthermore, she's proven that she can go toe-to-toe with Archer himself. In reference to her strength, Archer had this to say:

"She might as well be painted green & half-deaf!"

In the chance that reference went over your head, he's likening Pam to the Incredible Hulk, specifically his portrayal by Lou Ferrigno. That's saying something. On top of all this, Pam has an ungodly tolerance for drugs & alcohol. She turns downright feral at times while under the influence, but thankfully not that often. Like I said in the beginning, pray you never end up on her bad side.

As crazy as she is, I can only think of one game that not only would be a good fit for Pam... but simply deserves her being on the roster: DOA5: Last Round. Given both Pam's voracious sexual appetite & preference (she's bi, before you ask), there is plenty of eye candy for her to sploosh over in this game. Whether or not she could hold her own in a fight with anyone is frankly moot. The real question is whether or not she'll know when to let up before adding another name to her "list". More importantly, though, I chose Pam for this game because -- given her changing appearance on the show -- I feel that she could be to DOA what Bob/Slim Bob is to Tekken. No matter which you try to slice it, that's a win-win situation for everybody. Think about it & you'll see what I mean...

Until next time... keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

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