Aphro’s Asskicking Anthems – September 2015

What it is, what it is, what it is... shed no tears! Your boy Aphro has returned and while I may finally be coming down off my Summer Jam high, my eyes are already locked on December. Today, we are going to get funky. How funky? Dangerously funky! After the jump, let's get it going... 

In case the picture wasn't enough of a clue, this whirlwind of groove spinning around you right now is the recurring theme song from Black DynamiteEvery time BD would go about delivering an asswhooping or just being an archetypal badass, this song would play.  It also played during the end credits, which was special because you got to hear the song, more or less, in its entirety. What I love about this track is that it truly envelops you in its sound. Not only do you get to enjoy this song, but it makes you feel as if you're the star... the main event. If the opportunity ever presents itself, I feel everybody deserves to enjoy that sensation. Wouldn't you agree?

So where did this particular selection lead me? As you're all well aware, these Anthems can be a little tricky. I was very lucky last month because that article practically wrote itself once I got into the song. Other times, I run smack dab into the wall of writer's block. Not a pretty sight, but it does happen. This month's song presented something of a different challenge, though. You see, I got stuck between the proverbial rock & a hard place. Simply put, there are two fighters that this song fits, but only one of them actually has enough background to qualify for an Anthem. I can guarantee that you won't see this one coming... not by a damn sight.


Victorious in battle or not, I'm pretty sure that qualifies as sexual harassment.

Told you it would be a surprise. If you don't recognize that handsome devil up there, don't fret. That's none other than the illustrious Mr. Jones from the hidden gem Rage of the DragonsIf you ever come across it, I highly recommend playing that game. Colorful cast, unique engine/mechanics & the nostalgia factor are all on full display here. Because of the tag team theme this game follows, Jones fits in with his portly compatriot Kang. They may look like polar opposites, but these two can do some serious damage when they throw down.

Alright... remember when I said that this month's selection presented a challenge? This is what I mean: When you look at Jones, I can bet a barn on the farm that you're almost immediately reminded of someone else. It's okay, I wouldn't fault your for it in the slightest. Frankly, if you didn't make that connection, I'd be a little worried. Anyways, the reason I chose Jones over Tiger is two-fold. For starters, even though he is Tekken's resident funkmaster, Tiger really doesn't have any purchase to stand on within the main canon. Technically, he's spent a good chunk of his existence as nothing more than an unused concept for Eddie. Hell, he didn't even get an actual character slot until Tekken Tag Tournament 2! Not to come off as sounding mean or anything, but he is ultimately immaterial... and that's saying something about a Tekken character.

Secondly, Jones wins out over Tiger because he is more of a sincere homage to the guy they based both their designs off of: Jim Kelly. If you need a refresher as to who he is then I am going to politely request you look him up on your own time because, as a member of the FGC, it's something you should already know. Furthermore, Jones has more in common with Jim than Tiger ever will on nothing more than simple basis that he actually serves a canonical purpose to his game's storyline. If that's not enough, there's also the parallel between them since both were martial artists who became actors with short lived careers. Regardless of how obscure a character he may be, Mr. Jones does both this track & his character/design basis justice.

Until next time... keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

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