Aphro’s Asskicking Anthems – February 2016

What it is, what it is, what it is... shed no tears. The Dynamek One has once again jumped headfirst into the digital crates for that special track that just might help you fight back! Fair warning, though, this month's Anthem might ultimately be a little heavy... after the jump, let's get this one spinning.

If this one doesn't sound familiar, don't sweat it... while it did come from a well known band, this wasn't one of their most publicized tracks. What you're either listening to right now or just finished listening to is "There's No Solution" from Sum 41's 2004 album, Chuck. For the sake of transparency, I'll be totally upfront with you: I never took this band seriously before this album. Sure, I appreciated all the fun they had during their videos and after, but it was all in passing. Hearing what these guys went through and what led to the album getting its title combined with all the hell I was on the personal receiving end of at the time, it felt like things were happening for a reason. Anybody you ask about this album that owns it will all tell you the same thing: they grew up. There was a newfound (and hard-fought) maturity emanating from their music. It resonated with me on a very, very personal level, which is why I still enjoy the album a decade & change later.

My love of both the album & this song notwithstanding, I still have a job to do here. On the subject of regrets & maturity helping to shape a person's character, that's a longstanding trope within gaming in general, never mind just fighters. However, among all those reformed warriors out there, one stands (quite literally) heads & shoulders above the rest...


The only thing that could make this picture any better would be his glorious afro.

The craziest sprite to ever take the hippocratic oath, Guilty Gear's Faust is easily one of the weirdest characters ever envisioned. The word "random" doesn't feel strong enough when it comes to describing him. When anyone walks around with a giant six-foot scalpel at the ready and that's NOT the most peculiar thing about them, you've found something special. For years now, Faust has been a wandering health practitioner, doing what he can to help those in need. More than a few people have sought him out to either direct assistance or a trustworthy diagnosis. I suppose you could consider him a doctor without borders... not only because of his genuinely altruistic desires, but primarily due to his ability to hop between dimensions at will.

So why did I attach such a serious track to such a lighthearted character? Simple... because he wasn't always like that. "There's No Solution" openly deals with the concept of having a problem beyond your control. An all-consuming issue or concern whose resolution is simply beyond one's grasp. Dealing with that stress can weigh down even the most carefree of souls. With Faust, his "problem" is Dr. Baldhead. Before Faust popped up to heal the sick & care for the downtrodden with godlike ability, he was once driven mad by the death of a young patient. This loss sent him into an insane rage that would end up taking the lives of almost too many to count. Eventually, Baldhead mysteriously faded out of sight after the 2nd Sacred Order Selection Tournament and (almost miraculously) Faust appeared shortly thereafter. Regardless of all the good he's done over the years, Faust never allows himself to forget what he did. It's his burden, the cross he will forever carry.

Until next time... keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

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