Sweet sassy molassey, I apologize for my tardiness. So much has been going on lately that there just aren't enough hours in the day. Be that as it may, though, duty calls. On the heels of an overwrought WrestleMania, a curiosity has arisen and I intend to think it through...
For as long as I continue to draw breath on this Earth, I will forever refer to this most recent WrestleMania as "the Rubber Room" because they padded the hell out of that PPV. It's bad enough that their flagship production, Monday Night Raw, has been noticeably suffering in the ratings, but their decision to stretch it out for three hours only makes things worse. Just about anybody in anything can tell you that spreading quality too thin in favor of quantity is a terrible idea. Not unlike trying to get 180 minutes of screen time out roughly 40-45 minutes of actual sports entertainment. As bad as that is, imagine how much more preposterous trying to get five and a half hours from what should be no more than a proverbial three hour tour. My critique of the show notwithstanding, there was a noticeable highlight: the Women's Championship match.
Despite the inherent failure of the Divas Revolution and just piss poor utilization of available talent, the match snagged my interest & kept it from bell to bell (which is a lot more than I can say for most of the card that night). As good as it was, once you shift your attention over to the NXT Women's Division, it gets even better. All of this got me to thinking... and when I get to thinking, Character Battles happen. Since we're on the subject of women's wrestling, why bother beating around the bush? This month's contest is a chance to determine the next Women's Champion!
Because if we're going to do this, we're going to do it with flair, baby! Before you ask, I chose these two due to an unfortunate lack of masked female wrestlers in the media spotlight. Rainbow Mika from Street Fighter V going head-to-head against Tekken's Jaycee. I know that we usually don't concern ourselves with the "who would win in a fight" question here, but I have to be perfectly honest: I would LOVE to see these two have a proper match. The juxtaposition of their considerably different styles & techniques alone would be the stuff of dreams. However, I have to stay on point. As awesome as that would be, I'm more interested in who would do better on the WWE roster.
In one corner, you have the effervescent "Rainbow" Mika Nanakawa. She loud, plucky, full of energy & always ready to rumble. Despite what could very easily be viewed as a purely fan service costume, Mika has quite the pedigree behind her. Right off the bat, she had her priorities straight because she idolized the Red Cyclone for inspiration. After graduating, she was trained by the incomparable Yoko Harmageddon. Yoko took her under her wing & even partnered with Mika. During the course of her career, she even managed to pick up a die hard fan in El Fuerte. Mika was eventually paired with another prominent female wrestler, Yamato Nadeshiko. These two are the definition of a "well oiled machine" when they get together... Yasha, though, that's another story altogether.
In the opposing corner, we have Jaycee, which *spoiler alert* is everyone's favorite conservationist, Julia Chang, in disguise. The tale that leads Julia into the squared circle revolves around her genuinely good nature: she's helping out a friend. In doing so, she would find herself teaming with Armor King. Despite all this, her true goal is to work towards the reforestation of her home state of Arizona. Something tells me her mother would be proud.
So who would have the better chance of becoming the Women's Champion? A tough question, indeed, but let's keep in mind that this is WWE Creative we're talking about here. They can screw up almost anything within just a few weeks. As the old expression goes: "The larger the beast, the more it must feed". With that in mind, the answer becomes damn near painfully clear. Since her actual history & personality lend itself more to the sports entertainment lifestyle, R. Mika would be the better fit for WWE. Don't get me wrong, Jaycee is obviously talented and her martial arts training would definitely lead to some amazing matches, but she's simply moonlighting... a considerably sexier version of Nacho Libre, more or less. Nothing wrong with being a part-timer, but the machine needs cogs that can grind nonstop. My primary concern would be what utter foolishness WWE Creative might have her do. Thankfully, this is all hypothetical.
WINNER: R. MIKA
Until next time... keep fighting the good fight, my friends.