The Malloy List – June 2016

Full disclosure, I have not fully recovered from APEX 2016 just yet. Be that as it may, duty calls. This month's inductee to the hallowed Malloy List is downright terrifying, but that's why they deserve to be here. After the jump, let's meet this new savage...

When you're in the market for a warrior, there are certain criteria that simply must be met. No two ways about it, really. Loyalty (be it bought or earned), strength, dedication & a certain bit of style are what top my list. One characteristic is absolutely paramount, though... a warrior must be able to instill fear in their enemies/opponents. It worked back in the day, so there's absolutely no reason why it shouldn't in this day & age. And if your reputation isn't enough, you show them firsthand why they should have run in the first place. Our newest addition embodies all of these qualities... and then some.

Believe it or not, NWA wasn't playing during this scene...

Believe it or not, NWA wasn't playing during this scene...

Katarina Dombrovski a.k.a. "Mother Russia". Good lord, where do I begin with this woman? From a spectator's point of view, she was a definite highlight in 2013's Kick Ass 2. From the film's point of view, this woman is a full-on force of nature. Trained by the Spetsnaz (the only group of anything on the planet that genuinely terrifies me), Katarina ended up in the Gulag, where she meticulously trained her body and happened to eat her cellmate. You read that right, she eats people. I guess she was hungry & that Siberian prison cuisine just wasn't cutting it after leg day. Who knows?

Remember what I said earlier about instilling fear in your enemies. Yeah, she's an artist when it comes to disposing of her opposition. Don't believe me, watch this. Glossing over all the delicious mayhem on display in that clip, I'd like to point out that not only did she effortlessly lift a propane tank & a lawnmower while hurling the former, but she also ripped the door off of a police cruiser and used it as a lethal projectile. She did all of this without a moment's hesitation, either. She might as well have been doing laundry for all the effort it cost her. Oh, and to belabor the point of how ruthlessly efficient she is, all of this was done with the use of one eye. That is so terrifying, it's almost sexy.

So what roster do you put a woman like this on & have it fit/make sense? The answer was easier to find than you might imagine... for my money, Mother Russia -belongs- in Killer InstinctEven with all the madness going on in that game between the werewolves, vampires and interdimensional overlords, I honestly don't think any of that would phase her all that much. If the money's right, Mother Russia is all in and considering the news that came out last week regarding KI, something tells me she would be considerably motivated. Heaven help whoever's between her & her payday.

Until next time... keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

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