Aphro’s Asskicking Anthems – September 2016

What it is, what it is, what it is... shed no tears! The Dynamek One has returned with more of those crazy sounds that give life to your beatdowns. This month's Anthem is all about emotions. After the jump, let's spin this track.

Aww, now this takes me back... back to some more enjoyable days. If it is at all possible that you don't know this song, fret not. I'm not here to judge. I'm here to share music with all you wonderful people. That testament to all things stylish currently playing in your ears is "Devils Never Cry" by David Baker & Shawn McPherson. This song was the musical centerpiece of the Devil May Cry 3 sdtk. Justifiably so, too, because it is a doozy of a track. From the subtle opening organ intro to the oddly juxtaposed searing vocals of both singers, there's a great deal of weight to this song. It perfectly embodies the ongoing conflict between the Twin Sons of Sparda. On one hand, I'd have to imagine dear old dad would be proud that his progeny grew to be so strong... but on the other, this probably wasn't what he wanted for them.

Usually, there's some difficulty in designating any song to a particular character. However, this track pretty much requested (by name) not one, but two characters. Mind you, these two have a... similar conflict of interest to the one between Dante & Vergil. They're just separated by a generation.

There aren't enough therapists on the planet to sort these two out.

There aren't enough therapists (or exorcists) on the planet to sort these two out.

That's right, I went there. If you thought D & V had daddy issues, say hello to the Mishima clan. My hand to the Almighty, patricide is practically a family tradition with these people. Even Macbeth would tell them they need to chill out a bit. To save time, I'm just going to focus on Kazuya and his estranged son, Jin. The primary reason why I paired these two with this song was because of how it resonates with that famous Mishima emotional dexterity.

I want you think about every single time you've seen the non-transformed versions of these two on your screens. Can you remember a wide range of emotive expressions from either of them? Probably not. Especially when it comes to Jin. No, the only time he's ever not scowling, sneering or otherwise generally grimacing at people is when he's transformed. Hell, hearing him laugh that first time made my skin crawl. To make matters worse, he's even more verbally expressive & taciturn when he's in that form.

In a roundabout way, Kazuya is even worse. Yes, his go-to facial expression is a hybrid of rage & disgust, but there are fleeting moments when he'll crack a smile. The problem with those tender moments, however, is that they always involve him being evil. First smile we see? Oh, that's from when he threw his father's unconscious body off a cliff. Find him having a good hearty laugh? He's just thinking about destroying his father and son. And that wistful look during a flashback? The casual prelude before straight up murdering his grandfather.

Amid all of those (probably uncomfortable) displays of emotion, not a single tear. That's the real reason behind this month's musical pairing: truth in advertising. Seriously, what in the actual hell is wrong with these people?!

Until next time... keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

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