Warning! The following content may not be suitable for all viewers. Some audiences with high sodium levels, little common sense and blind fandom might take themselves too seriously & completely disregard what comes next. If you need a reprieve from the madness, then go on with your bad self and jump down this rabbit hole.
Ladies & gentlemen, I present to you a door. You unlock this door with the key of no imagination. Beyond it is another dimension — a dimension of gifs, a dimension of salt, a dimension of shitposts. It is where optimal combos and theory concepts coincide. You’re moving up to the apex of unity & precipice of the toxicity pitfall. Watch your step as you enter into... the PaKappa Zone.
Evolution Championship Series 2018
Time: One year removed from mass manipulation. Plague: Greed, one of the seven deadly sins that seeps its poison into the best of us. Culprit: Well, now... I would avoid a mirror because what stares back might frighten you. Picture a public pursuing primetime. In that pursuit, they sacrifice aspects of their defining traits. So much so, they siphon influence to magic men. Self-proclaimed ‘Wizards’ of sorts, the grandest of them all placing his favor on individual tribes to partake in tournaments tailored to their skills. His favor is not without consequence. Year in and year out, it drives a stake into the tribes and wedges the divide further. The Grand Wizard sits unaffected and perhaps content with the state of affairs, knowing full well come travesty or charity… the public will still yield him his power.
At this time, bring your attention to the present controversy of Wizard’s ruling. He proclaims his lineup and goes back to his fortress to prepare for his ritual, fully aware of the uproar he has left behind many times before. The common folk that are oblivious to the source of the Wizard’s power feel cheated and are dumbfounded. “How can it be possible one of our mightiest tribes, MvC from House Capcom, not be chosen?” It was true the strength of the tribe is part of the fabric of the public known as the FGC. They served the Wizard well for over a decade. However, in his cunning & wisdom, the Wizard knew that a house divided cannot stand. The folly of Capcom and carelessness of Generation X, casuals & trolls alike have left a once proud tribe torn asunder; a glaring weakness the grand Wizard sought to exploit before anyone could see the writing on the wall. This is just the beginning of the outcry, the noise will echo for months until action is taken… or indifference settles in. Cheers of slanderous joy, jeers of inequity, silence of apathy, all too deafening to hear... in the PaKappa Zone.
Behind the Curtain of the EVO Wizard
You find yourself away from the rumblings of the crowd, eerily serene in the chambers of the Wizard himself. He is not in at the moment, so your eyes set upon the various mysterious portals left around us. A door by any other name here in the dank dimension, the possibilities are endless and unpredictable. The beautiful truth behind some of these paths is they are, in fact, predictable; a word of caution, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What lies beyond these portals transcends time with tangents, fate and the dealings of the past to and fro. Curiosity will prevail over apprehension here... in the PaKappa Zone.
Portal A: EVO 2013 Reloaded
Witness, if you will, the present day in the future, more over a month away from the show. Things that could not come to pass, have. It brings a gripping sense of unfamiliarity, then quickly releases as the backdrop dispels its alien vibe, it’s almost homely. Breaking news across newsfeeds abound, ‘Marvel Vs. Capcom Infinite takes last minute slot at EVO 2018!’ The kneejerk disbelief dissipates as memory serves a similar occurrence done by the Brothers Warner. In the time lost travelling through the borderless parameters of infinity, an equally powerful & assimilating juggernaut has pulled the strings in the House of Capcom. The House of Mouse did not look kindly upon the Wizard’s transgression, a stage for its eternal rival by the name of Warner to shine uncontested. Holding all the cards and biding their time, they lay them all out to deliver a devastating blow bringing everyone on all fours. The return of newly acquired X-men with fan favorite inclusions, reshading character models & stages, a plethora of offline modes with daily, weekly, monthly rewards, reasonable pricing on DLC, professional year long circuits, not to mention more rebalancing for the sake of being through… all power moves to build upon the sturdy foundation a select few knew about the entire time. The Wizard would do well to honor his codependent relationship with the House of Mouse because they both understand and speak in the ancient language: currency. The masses that never fully understood the language wasted their energy up until this pivotal point. The wise bystanders can only sit back and wait for the inevitable cause, effect, solution to run its course. Shaking their heads is the only option when everyone partakes in the same circus act done within the confines... of the PaKappa Zone.
Portal B: Smash Bros.
This is a doorway nobody wants to step into… so we won’t.
Portal C: Fearless heroes/False Leaders
We pull back to the present with temporal activities suspended. Laid before us are two chain reactions with the deciding factor hanging in the balance. In times of crisis, guidance is sought out. An alpha, elder counsel, in other words leaders to safeguard & make things better with fewest possible casualties. Hanging in the balance is such that, the status of so called leaders. Some spawned from Generation X, while others referred to as OGs date farther back. How they react to the slate handed down by the Wizard this year determines the route history will write. To the left, we see passionate persistence the likes of yesteryear through another fundraiser, protest or any other means. “Mahvel Lives” saddles up and rides again to something extravagant.
To the right, detachment takes hold. The wigs are too big for the figureheads to carry. It won’t be worth the trouble for a game they excelled at, but never really had their heart in. Down this road are uneven pavements, rough patches and schisms one in the same as the conflicted lot that follows this chain to its conclusion. Turmoil will soon erupt as the commoners receive no return on investment for their faith and look to elect replacements to fit the bill. You now know the choices given, decision makers and conditions; left or right, we come to the end and find the same result. Left solely in the hands of the community with no outside House of Mouse influence or Wizard wonder magic, we reach a competitive side tournament under the same roof that rejected them. Hot or cold, tranquil or turbulent, cooperative or reluctant, such decisions can be made for you... in the PaKappa Zone.
Portal B Revisited: Super Smash Bros.
Past this gateway we enter into the land that serves as the grand Wizard’s best weapon as well as his crutch. An unstoppable force of pure passion, challenged only by its equally formidable dysfunction. Its business with Wizard is simple; accommodate its every whim for a part of the overarching behemoth known as Melee. Truly a force that transcends time, it baffles the intellect with its archaic equipment, meta and devotion to the preservation of such practices, despite newer forms that suit diversity & logistics better. The Wizard’s appeasement for power beyond the land of the FGC proves costly. Tributes of floor space, main stage outings, special setups to name a few… produces a Catch 22 of malcontent. No matter how much is given, the hunger grows; all the while, both parties are unaware of the finite law that dictates two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. It is a quandary that’s wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma of how to usher out the forefather entry with all due respect, to let its successors thrive properly. A hard lesson learned that all elephants in the room are white... in the PaKappa Zone.
Portal D: Outro
Generosity: a beloved virtue that speaks to the humanity in all of us. Disillusionment: crude reality begetting cynicism because of humanity. Some might say a yin to every yang. A man named EVO Wizard… his business: tightroping the twilight. Word to the wise: denizens self-imprisoned by the moment of bedlam fall prey to the illusions of the dank dimension. Some willingly accept the graciousness of the grand Wizard; others go against their better judgment, knowing full well a Wizard’s charitable condition isn’t the kind of generosity you would expect.
To you, the one inhibiting both virtue & vice, carry onward with options. For every entrance is also an exit; a trip back the way we came leaves behind the EVOlved realm and brings you outside of Wizard’s clutching spell. Favoring more so the yin than the yang, set your sights towards the door that reads ‘Plato’s Cave.’ On the outside of it, you find like-minds, true warriors of all tribes, ready to make any venue a battleground. Knowledge possessed by this breed surpasses any influence, any fear of outcome, any framed picture presented by magic men. People of virtue & vice, holding no allegiance yet stay faithful, apparently in complete control... of the PaKappa Zone.